⇾ Sex, a harbinger of loss of control, is fraught with uncertainty and vulnerability. ⇾ Eroticism resides in unpredictability, spontaneity, and risk. ⇾ It takes two people to create a pattern, but only one to change it. ⇾ Desire is an enigma it’s insubordinate, and it chafes at impositions. ⇾ Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. ⇾ We all have an equally strong need for security and adventure. As soon as we acknowledge that our partners are never granted, sustained desire becomes a real possibility. The mistake is believing the fantasy of permanence and security. How to introduce uncertainty and gentle imbalance in a relationship to keep it alive? In truth, it is already there, given the transient nature of things. Not just that, the erotic imagination is fueled by a host of feelings that are far from proper: aggression, raw lust, infantile neediness, power, revenge, selfishness, and jealousy. Sex is about loss of control: it is fraught with uncertainty and vulnerability. Eroticism resides in unpredictability, spontaneity, and risk. What makes you feel cozy and loved is not the same that makes you feel turned on and desired. Love and desire are not fueled by the same things.
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